Month: July 2019

Today I want to briefly talk to you about a book that helped me start to revisit the impact ADHD was having in my life.  Even though I was diagnosed in my early  thirties, initially I didn’t believe the diagnosis, much less take it seriously.  This book really shifted my perspective: The Queen of Distraction: How Women with ADHD Can Conquer Chaos, Find Focus, and Get More Done, by Terry Matlen, MSW.  

I listened to it quite a while ago (Aug 2018), and I’m just now getting around to reviewing it (hahaha, irony…), but so much still sticks with me every day.  Specifically, the details about emotion regulation, hyper sensitivity, and hormones.  THIS is the book that helped me realize I’m not crazy or defective, and suggested ideas for planning around the way my biology wants to work.  Of the three specifics I mentioned, the difference in how ADHD women (and girls) experience emotion was so freaking liberating to me…that alone is worth the price of the book.  Seriously. I am forever changed by this knowledge, and frankly, reassurance.  

I’d like to also share that this book is very accessible, even (and especially) if you aren’t an academic.  It’s an easy read (or, in my case, listen), and the author really brings the technical into the practical.  It’s certainly a great book that came into my life at the perfect time, and I owe it (and Ms. Matlen) a huge debt of gratitude.

 

TL;DR

 

Problem:

You realize you need something, go to find it, get sidetracked looking for whatever it was, then an hour later find yourself back in the original room and realize you still have to go find whatever it was.

 

Solution:

Whenever feasible, keep duplicates of things everywhere you are.

 

Full story:

 

This is a tough one, and it doesn’t apply to everything, of course.  I’ll tell you what it works well for (for me).  

 

Let’s say I’m about to read something on my phone. I realize I need my reading glasses.  I get up, walk over to where I think they are, and as I’m heading there, my son says, “Oh hey, what’s for dinner?”  I detour to the fridge, gaze into it and say, “How about XYZ?” He says sure, then I realize the milk has expired.  I pour it out, put it into the over-flowing recycling bin, which I decide needs to be taken out RIGHT THEN.  As I’m carrying the recycling bin through the garage, I see the tire is getting flat again on the car, so I grab my phone to put a note to take the car to the shop…which I can’t read because I still haven’t gotten my glasses from my purse.  

 

My solution to this was: buy multiple pairs of reading glasses.  They are literally $10 at Wally World, for non-rx versions.  But also I wanted blue-light blocking, which I ordered on Zenni Optical, but those I did this slowly over a couple of months (as budget allowed). Now I have a pair at work on my desk, at home on my desk (home office), in my purse, and on my nightstand.

 

I did the same thing with lotion, Chapstick, tissues, pens (I have a certain type of pen I like), highlighters, Mio, sugar substitute, etc, etc.  For example, I actually really like the EOS lip balm, so every grocery trip for  several months, I added one to my cart. They are about $3-4 for one “ball.”  Which isn’t a huge amount, but my budget can’t handle buying 10 at once.  Now I have one on my nightstand, one in the kitchen drawer, one in my purse, one in each car, one on each desk (home and work), and a couple in storage for back up.  

 

Here’s a trick I learned from “I Always Want to Be Where I’m Not,” along the same lines:  Have trash cans EVERYWHERE.  In some rooms I have two or three trashcans, but every room has at least one.  I’m way more likely to throw something away when there is a trashcan in reach, than if not.  And then trash doesn’t pile up all over my house.  In my weekly cleaning routine, emptying the trash can(s) for each room is part of the schedule.