Intro – Part 1

I’ve always had trouble with procrastinating, with keeping anywhere I lived tidy, and being able to give any attention to anything for very long. In my 30s, I was diagnosed as ADHD. At first (for years…), I didn’t quite believe the doctors, but as I read many books on the subject, everything started to make sense. My entire school career made sense. My inability to keep my backpack, locker, or bedroom neat for even a day or two. My “flitting” from one thing to another (I’m great at starting things, nsm at finishing). Impulsivity in finances (vacillating from broke to stable and back again every other month), and again, procrastination – my constant companion.

In fact, it was procrastination, and a crippling anxiety over failure, (coupled with negative performance review at work), that really pushed me to seek answers. I’m not exactly being honest. The truth is my performance review wasn’t overall negative. Overall it was very positive, however, it wasn’t entirely positive. Specifically, I was told I needed to improve in one area.  And in my mind, it was therefore entirely negative (more on that in a later post). But all you need to know at the moment is that it felt negative to me where I was at the time, which I reacted to in the only way I knew how. I was going to fix the shit out of this. And by “this,” I meant “me.”

To be continued…

 

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